As I sat in the bus and watched the world go by, I noticed the trees and their roots at the side of the road. Tourists from all over the world are always taking photos of the tree roots growing above ground here in Hong Kong. The roots are often found in small areas, but in other areas they huge and up to around five meters around the trees. There are trees in parks whose roots are so precious that the tree and roots are fenced off so that they can be protected from people and pets walking all over them or hurting them.
On this day, I noticed that there was a stone lodged between two big roots. It did not hurt the roots it just looked out of place and kind of ugly. It reminded me about life. There are, sometimes, stones wedged between my roots. They are not hurting me. They are just there. Just there does mean that they irritate me from time to time. It does mean that it takes away from my first glance beauty. It does mean that they do not contribute to my life in any way. It does not mean they are harmful.
I have to make a choice then. I can allow myself to fret over it, to cry over it, complain about it or get upset about it. The question I need to ask myself is: “Do I have to do one of these things or do I have another choice?”
More introspection lead to the following: Is this stone something that I can control or have power over? Am I able to remove it myself? Do I have the ability to do something with this stone on my own? If the answer is yes, then I better get on with it and do something about it. I may procrastinate, and it might be okay because it is my life after all. If I do choose the wait before trying anything, I need to though, remind myself that I myself take responsibility for my choice to leave the stone where it is.
If my answer is that I do not have power over the stone, I have another choice to make. I can keep on fretting over it and allow it power over my life or I can start looking at what is in my control to do.
One of the first things I’ll determine is to find out in which way does this stone effect my life or what is the worst thing that can happen when this stone is in my life. Most of the time the effect in my life is minimum – unless I blow it up. It often has to do with my ego, my pride, my vanity or a false perception of life. It does not let me look pretty, I feel my life has less meaning than someone next to me are thoughts that run through my head.
What if I take another route? What if I say that I do not like it, but I’ll accept it in my life for now? Accept does not mean I like it, want it or agree with it. Accept means I am not allowing this non harmful thing to steal my joy, my life. I choose not to spend most of my day thinking about the stone. I choose to find something meaningful to do. I choose to read a book, go for a walk, do some colouring in or listen to a podcast. I choose to allow it to be there, just be there.
It was about three weeks later that I was again in the bus on the same route, and I watched with curiosity to see if the stone was still there. The stone was gone. I could see that someone cleaned around and in between the roots. It looked neat and beautiful.
The same can be true in my life too. If I choose not to allow discontent to rule my emotions and life, the stone may be taken away or disappear one day. I need to live my life and do what I can. I need to focus on what I am able to do despite this stone being in my life. If I am willing to wait actively living every day, I may discover one day the waiting paid off and the stone is gone. Gone is what does not belong. Gone is the thought that my life does not have meaning. Gone is fretting over something that I have no power over anyway.
