Over the past year I have had the opportunity to join in on a peer-supervision group consisting of fierce female counsellors who, like myself, practice pro-bono work. We are all counsellors within Justice Centre, dedicating time to the marginalised communities, and some expertise in trauma work. I have an amazing supervisor and work with her on professional development tasks, as well as discussing my clients. This has meant that I have not felt the need for as much ‘peer connection’.
As a ‘lone-wolf’ I tend to avoid large group settings in my professional life. Previous experiences have not been great. I find it challenging to maintain the high social battery need with multiple people. I tend to feel and note others physical and emotional changes at a higher level (Thanks childhood trauma!). This has led me to often feel pressured to take on more than my fair share.
So how did I end up in a peer-supervision group? I could say I’m on a self-healing kick and forcing myself to do uncomfortable things. But that would not be the entire truth. Really it ‘fell’ into my lap. As the in-house counsellor for Justice Centre Hong Kong I wanted to make sure that I am supporting their initiatives and that I am supporting their social welfare (and psychological welfare) group. I also happen to love my JC colleagues so if they set something up I want to support it as much as I can. Thank goodness, as I’m now in a peer supervision group.
Now we do not meet often, as mentioned most of us are super busy. Personally, I juggle a full-time teaching job, client sessions, and working with my supervisor. ( Yes, yes we are working on my inability to rest without being productive. Oh the delicious irony, for any clients reading this. hehe). As to the other women, I can tell you their schedules are just as hectic. For that reason our defacto leaders (Thank you Fiona, Pritika and Samara) set up a Whatsapp group. Thanks to this we are able to chat and ask for advice, and, even refer new cases that crop up outside of the JC clients. We tend towards Zoom sessions as it is easier for all of our schedules. While I cannot join any sessions that are in the middle of a school day, I do get to at least join the other sessions.
This group has allowed me to feel connected to like-minded individuals and, unlike previous peer experiences, I have felt that instead of having to tip-toe around others emotional immaturity and triggers, I can be myself. While we do not meet often, I know that I can reach out to the group and someone will have the space and time to answer me. Instead of navigating challenges alone, I can seek input from others and benefit from their suggestions
It is refreshing, new and encouraging. Between my supervisor, my friend and peer Rocken, and this group of women, I not longer feel so alone and isolated. We discuss, we network and we all have the confidence in our own abilities that there has been no lying or condescension. Idyllic, right?
Now, of course, not every peer supervision group will be like this one. And, not everyone is willing to do their own research. Some individuals may not be willing to take accountability for their own learning and needs, which can be discouraging. I have learned from past experiences that it doesn’t work when colleagues or peers are unwilling to contribute. Been there, done that, it does not work. Our group functions smoothly because we understand the time constraints and social energy limitations that others may.
So, when thinking of joining a peer-supervision group go into it with an open mind. If you tend to find people condescending, seek out peers whom you genuinely respect. This sounds a little strange, but we are all human and as we tell our clients, the relationship is incredibly important. I have in the past felt like I had to hold back, have spent hours considering how to rectify someone’s behaviour or task manage within a setting. It was exhausting.
Peer-supervision and Supervision has been a place where I can rest. Dina has held my hand, supported me and kept me accountable. Her guidance has ensured that I take care of myself and that I end relationships that are no longer good for me. Supervision has taught me many new tricks and tools and most importantly given me a beautiful friend.
